I read the internet nightmare stories, like I’m sure many of you had. “The First Postpartum Period”. I can see it up in red, bloodied (no pun intended) letters on some dark glossy book cover sold in the horror section at your local book store. Many moms in various corners of the internet shared their shock, pain, and dismay at the return of that grouchy Aunt Flow after having their precious little ones. I vaguely wondered when it would happen for me, but mostly put it out of my mind. After all, who would want it back? The yucky feelings, the pain and discomfort, frantically checking your clothing for leaks with the inconspicuous grace of an elephant in a china shop… (does that analogy only work in Russian?). Not to mention the financial expenses every month. Um, no thank you.
After 22 blissful months of pregnancy and breastfeeding, the dragon lady returned for me. I was caught completely unawares. I spent the majority of the month leading up to it feeling quite awful – dizziness and headaches, fatigue on top of the normal mom exhaustion, constant inexplicable aches and pains, and a slew of other symptoms I couldn’t quite articulate. I blamed anemia and thyroid disease despite both being under control at the time and proceeded to take the symptoms in stride, “ignoring” them per my doctor’s advice. It’s kind of a Russian thing, I think, to just ignore symptoms as much as possible.
One lovely September day, I was sitting with my little one in our mother outlet support group listening to a tearful mother explain how she started her period at six weeks postpartum with her second baby. The poor thing was incredibly emotional, especially as the return of her period had compounded some breastfeeding issues, and suddenly I found myself tearing up with her. It was bizarre and out of the blue, as usually I am able to offer compassionate and put-together support. I ran to the restroom to freshen up and suddenly discovered the unthinkable. There she was, that b***h.
I was not prepared. Not emotionally, not practically. I don’t think I had been caught without a pad or tampon since middle school. I thought “hey, luckily I’m heading back to a room full of women who will understand and undoubtedly have a pad to spare”…. Except majority of them were nursing mothers who haven’t had a period in months. And the one mom who started didn’t have any spares. Oh boy. Toilet paper to the rescue.
What followed was a completely normal period from my pre-pregnancy days, and I thought initially that perhaps all of those stories were exaggerated…at least, on the physical level. The starling discovery for me was the mental and emotional toll this return to “normal” seemed to take. Somehow I felt as if it was robbing me of my status as a “new mom”. I felt an inexplicable sense of loss, like some piece of the “specialness” of motherhood and bringing life into this world was being taken away. It was completely irrational but I couldn’t help it. I felt a kind of deep rooted pain, a grief of sorts. Perhaps it reminded me that my baby was not so little anymore. She was thirteen months and growing increasingly independent and strong willed. In some ways, it also meant that pregnancy and all of it’s effects were really over. I’m not delusional: I’m well aware that pregnancy was over the moment Alice was born, and that moment was perfection. But there were still remnants: hormonal waves, phantom kicks, echoes of having carried this precious baby in my belly that were all somehow suddenly gone, in one fell swoop. The return to normalcy meant a departure from the unusual and special time of pregnancy, birth and the first year. And it hit me all at once, I think.
It’s been 4 months and I’d like to think I’ve come to terms that this is how our bodies are meant to function. This is good; this is normal. I have, however, come to deal with another side effect of menstruation specific to new-ish mothers: breastmilk supply dips. While these don’t affect every breastfeeding mother, many do find that their supplies suffer due to the hormonal fluctuations involved in ovulation and menstruation. Mine seem to be progressing more that usual and perhaps Aunt Flow isn’t the only culprit, but this is yet another function of our postpartum bodies. It’s the new normal.
Babies will sometimes fuss at the breast when mom is ovulating or menstruating and have been known to even go on a nursing strike for a day or two as hormones can change the taste of breastmilk. If this is the case and especially if your baby is exclusively breastfed, discuss with your provider the best option for supplementation, such as with previously expressed breastmilk, and ensuring you are keeping up with supply if baby is refusing to nurse.
For those of you who may be looking for some practical advice about what to expect, here are some tips and facts:
- The return of your period is (in most cases) the return of your body to normal fertility. This is all part of how our bodies function in order to allow us to continue having children.
- You can have anovulatory periods, especially in the first six months postpartum – when your body does not release an egg, but menstruation still happens. Fertility has not returned if these cycles are happening.
- Some moms discuss feelings of period-like symptoms coming on for several moths prior to the actual return of their period, especially cyclical period-like cramping, fatigue, and emotional changes.
- It can take several moths for your cycle to normalize again and you may experience cycles of varying number of days, spotting in the middle of your cycles, and prolonged period lengths.
- Some mothers report having more significant symptoms and higher levels of bleeding during the first (or first few) postpartum period(s). Discuss with your OB/GYN what is considered normal and abnormal when it comes to postpartum periods.
- Using breastfeeding as a form of birth control and suppressing fertility can be effective but only under specific guidelines and success rates are highest during the first six months postpartum. If you are hoping to avoid pregnancy, it is best to not rely on breastfeeding alone as a form or birth control as even small variations in breastfeeding patterns can trigger hormonal shifts in some moms. Kellymom has detailed information on breastfeeding and fertility.
- Reach out to your provider if anything feels really abnormal – this a new experience for your body and you shouldn’t feel silly seeking advice and support if things are seeming strange or not quite right.
It may be unexpected, it may come sooner than you hope, and it may wreak all kinds of havoc on your breastfeeding and mommyhood journey, just when it felt like you were getting the hang of things. But try to remember this is one of the many incredible shifts and changes are bodies are capable of, returning to normal after growing and birthing a baby, perhaps preparing to carry and birth another. So don’t hate on aunt flow too much. Take a deep breath, thank your body for doing it’s job the best it can, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to for a while, gently reminding yourself that is too is a part of mommyhood. And it’s completely normal.